claiming your space
learning to embrace yourself unapologetically
By Lindsie Meek
Have you ever felt the urge to shrink yourself — to quiet your voice, downplay your emotions, or make your body smaller just to fit in? Many of us learn early on that being “too much” makes others uncomfortable. That speaking up is risky. That taking up space — in our bodies, our needs, our presence — is something we have to earn or apologize for.
But what if you didn’t have to make yourself smaller to belong? In this post, we’ll explore what it means to take up space emotionally, physically, and relationally — and why doing so is a vital part of healing. We’ll also share a few gentle practices to help you begin reclaiming your space without apology.
Emotional Space: You’re Allowed
To Feel What You Feel
Have you ever been told to stop overreacting? To toughen up or move on? Maybe the message wasn’t spoken outright — but it was there, tucked into the side glances, the discomfort, the quick change of subject. Sure, let’s not talk about emotions, let’s just sweep them under the rug and keep moving. But here’s the thing. Even if those emotions are hidden, they don’t disappear. They stay. In the body, in the mind, in the tension you can’t quite shake. Until they are acknowledged, allowed, felt, and finally released.
From an early age, we absorb the emotional cues of our caregivers. Maybe you learned that sadness made people uncomfortable, or that anger made you “difficult.” Over time, those lessons can turn into inner rules: Don’t cry. Don’t feel too much. Keep it together. But what if your emotions weren’t something to fix or hide? What if they were messages that pointed you toward what matters?
Feeling your feelings is not a weakness. It’s not indulgent. It’s a powerful step toward healing. You don’t need to justify your emotions to anyone. You’re allowed to feel what you feel. Grief, joy, anger, tenderness — they all deserve room. Consider this question while journaling: Growing up, what messages (spoken or unspoken) did you receive about expressing your emotions? How do you notice those messages showing up in how you relate to your feelings today?
Physical Space: Your Body Is Enough
We live in a culture that constantly comments on bodies. Too much, not enough, never quite right. From diet ads to wellness trends to “what I eat in a day” reels, the messages are loud and relentless: shrink, hide, fix. Our spaces — airplane seats, clothing racks, even social media feeds — often aren’t built for diverse bodies.
But what if you questioned the voice that tells you “that top doesn’t look good on me” and wore it anyway, because you love it? What if movement was about connection, not correction? What if eating meant nourishment, not control? What if you let yourself be seen, loved, held — not when you’ve “earned” it, but now?
This work isn’t easy. It’s vulnerable, uncomfortable, and sometimes unfamiliar. But it can also bring moments of peace, and even lasting relief. When you stop waiting for permission and begin offering it to yourself, something shifts. You begin showing up more fully. And you realize — you’ve always deserved to. Consider this question while journaling: What’s one small way you can honor your body today — not by changing it, but by listening to it?
Taking Up Space Isn’t Selfish.
It’s Authentic.
You might be thinking: But I’m not loud. I’m not the kind of person who takes center stage. That’s okay. Taking up space doesn’t mean becoming someone you’re not. It means honoring who you already are. No apology.
Taking up space isn’t about ego — it’s about alignment. It’s choosing to be honest instead of hidden. And here’s the thing: until you begin to use your voice to express what’s true for you, you might not fully know who you are underneath the layers of approval-seeking, people-pleasing, and performance. Allowing yourself to take up space is part of allowing yourself to find and be yourself.
Relational Space: Your Voice Matters
People-pleasing can feel like second nature — blending in, staying agreeable, chameleon-ing your way through conversations to make sure you’re liked or keep the peace. At first, it can feel like a connection. But over time, it becomes self-erasure.
Here’s the tough truth: not everyone will like you. And trying to be likable to everyone often comes at the cost of liking yourself. What would it be like to stop editing your words to fit the room? To say what you actually think, even if you’re nervous to do so? To ask for what you need without apologizing for it?
Taking up relational space doesn’t mean being loud or confrontational. It means letting your presence, your preferences, your needs count. It means trusting that your voice has value, even when it makes things a little less comfortable. You’re allowed to take up space in your relationships. Not just as a supporter of others, but as someone with needs, thoughts, and a voice that matters. Consider this question while journaling: Where in your life do you tend to hold back your voice? What might shift if you gave yourself permission to speak more honestly in that space?
Reclaim Your Space
You might be thinking: But I’m not loud. I’m not the kind of person who takes center stage. That’s okay. Taking up space doesn’t mean becoming someone you’re not. It means honoring who you already are. No apology.
Taking up space isn’t about ego — it’s about alignment. It’s choosing to be honest instead of hidden. And here’s the thing: until you begin to use your voice to express what’s true for you, you might not fully know who you are underneath the layers of approval-seeking, people-pleasing, and performance. Allowing yourself to take up space is part of allowing yourself to find and be yourself.
REFEReNCES
Callaghan, B. L., Meyer, H. C., Opendak, M., VanTieghem, M., Harmann, R. J., & Tottenham, N. (2021). Caregiving influences on emotional learning and regulation: A sensitive period for amygdala–prefrontal cortex development. Current Opinion in Behavioral Sciences, 36, 49–56. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cobeha.2020.11.003
Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. New York: Gotham Books
Tylka, T. L., & Wood-Barcalow, N. L. (2015). What is and what is not positive body image? Conceptual foundations and construct definition. Body Image, 14, 118–129. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2015.04.001
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